i guess everyone been through this stage, where you realize that you don't feel the same for the fun things you used to do. Maybe it's the exam that got me brain-washed. i don't know what's happening to my silly brain actually.
i didn't try to change myself or whatever, it just happened that i start to think weirdly.
just feeling so worn out for everything that i do, everything that i used to talk.
till some point, i ran out of expression when i deal with people that trying to care me.
Those who tries the harder to come near, i'll move one more step away.
It becomes a crime to have some privacy. Feeling so suffocate that i have to share my e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Like it's a sin to say no. I don't even own the right to have a secret?
Why i have to be responsible, for everything that i wasn't supposed to be?
The pressure to force me to open up, to share my privacy, to understand my every part, to make me agree with every point they say.
This is just not the care that i need. To expose every single cell of oneself to another one, that's too much to bear.
Can i talk, only when i want? Can i talk, only to people i choose? Can i reject, when i really don't want to do something? Can i don't go to places, where it is just a ritual to do so? Can i only go out, when i'm ready? Can i don't compromise?
I just want a dinner, with few bad jokes. I just want a movie, where movie is really the main point of the outing, i just want to go out with smiles. There's just too few on the earth, who know the real meaning of 'just talk when you feel like talking'.
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