Tonight

I was actually trying to post something up, but everytime i write, i got stopped halfway. Thinkin' of, should i write it out? Like what JiaQi feels, i begin to hesitate to blog as the readers grow larger. My first intention to create a blog is to express my feelings, feelings that i can't talk it out. Now that i have a blog, why i still feel myself being tied from what i really wanting to write?

Things been so complicating recently. My life seems so ok but yet i actually feel like a mess. Just like putting my emotion into a blender, i don't even know what the mixture calls. At least one thing i know for sure, i had my biggest relief and realization. Relief that i'm lucky enough to escape myself from the biggest disaster in my life ever and realize that there are some people in this world who would do anything as long as they are hated by everyone.

I'm the wonderfool i've been talking about. Doing stuff that i know i shouldn't have done, believing to people that i promised myself not to, dropping tears while i vowed i will never do so. Sometimes i see my reflection in the mirror, i wonder if this is really the Cindy i want to be? I guess, i'm just tired. I desperately hope for an end. I know tonight is the night. I think i knew the answer long ago, but i just wouldn't believe. What a wonderfool person i am? Waiting for the sentence, so that i can die with all honour.

Tonight is the night.