moody

my mood been bad recently
something that i care about just doesn't seems right
as my tears rolling down my cheek
i hope all the sadness in my heart will go away

clean my soul, clear my sight

i wish life will be better, let all the sorrow fades






as i read the post, my eyes become watery
thanks for replying to my 'oldies time'
it makes me feel proud
besties always^^

for another one
you know who you are too^^
stop feeling guilty la~
come back when you're free
we hold on to each others' promises, right?
and please ask your brother not to poison me again
thank you very muchie

food poisoning

well........

i get food poisoning again!

so here i am, right at home, vomited 6 times since my dinner on 7pm!
twice at milky's home and 3 times after came home from clinic

a stupid guy named Milky done some incredibly clever thing. What he did?
he made Kah Seng and i a dinner, as a show off for the new skill he learned after he went oversea.

But as you can see that i call him a stupid guy, he is still very stupid. So this stupid guy open a canned food to cook without even glance at the expire date. The canned meat is actually expired more than half month d..

More, he cooked beef then he bought chestnut for me...
and no one tell us that beef and chestnut cannot be mixed, so i ate lots of chestnut!
when i go to clinic only the doctor tell us
'beef and chestnut cannot be mixed'

kah seng who hated chestnut so much, only feel geli about the expired canned food that he ate
and stupid milky didn't even ate anything that he cooked

But pathetic me, vomit whatever i ate, even the medicine that doctor give. Though milky bought me porridge, but still i vomited it out also.. Sigh.. but still it's so funny that we laughed for hours about it! haha XD


and just for your information, i vomited twice while i'm writing this post.

REALLY THANKS SO MUCH TO THE MOST DUMB GUY ON EARTH THAT I EVER SEEN!


p/s: i lost 2kg after oo week. current weight; 37kg. Damn

oldies time

第一次从别人的身上看见自己，
第一次很深刻的体会到别人对自己的看法
原来，我曾经是这样的
可是，我变了，
我又变了，每一次都从错误中学习
我变乖了
曾经我们都懵懂，以为我们觉得对的，
就一定是对的
需要被挫一挫锐气，
才懂得不是每件事都能得偿所愿

我没想象过有这一刻，
当我看到，这另一个自己，
我想，没人知道，我有多么的震惊
从一个第三者的角度看回自己，
竟然发现，原来，我已经不是当时的自己
当然，我还是对过去眷恋，
可是我更展望未来
想要告诉这个好朋友
或许会很伤心，或许会很痛
可是，不管什么事，都会过去
有些东西，变成回忆，更美丽

我们都贪婪那一丝丝的甜蜜，
他们每一次的关心，都让我们的嘴角上扬
每一次每一次，提醒自己，不要再爱了
不要再沦陷了，不要再抱任何希望了
可是，每天晚上，闭上眼睛，看到的，
是所有曾经的快乐

明明那么认真，还有过承诺，
为什么忽然间，全都不对了
我们，变得悲哀了，是我们的错吗?
其实，
认真爱过，就对得起自己了，
或许看回去，我们觉得我们可以做得更好
可是，用真心对待，那就是最好的了
不是吗
有种爱不是努力付出，而是用力割舍
你知道吗？

到最后，还是没办法恨他，
因为，他让你更了解自己，让你更懂事
或许是每次分手都是主动，
所以我们都没了解过被迫放弃的滋味
不懂得，原来我们也没想象中的潇洒


this was a post that i wrote a very very long time ago
but i dint post it that time
i dedicated it to someone who knows who he is
^^

sometimes things lost their colour after a certain time
but this post, it means something
which make it never fades

hehe

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I CAN GRAD !!!!!!

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wheee~~~~ finally after so much of worries, i grad!! hohoho!!
convo, here i come!!!
thanks thanks thanks so much to hock shi and yeang chuan who help me to check my result, as i was too timid to check it by myself... ^^

thanks all friends that give me courage!

stupid mouth

Did i just get things wrong again??
swt.. i dunno why everytime my mouth don't speak my heart
words that i wished to say will always be twisted by my stupid mouth..

Some words that i wished i can take it back, but the truth is i cant
and i said it like i don't even care.. so naturally
it's totally not what i have in mind
i think i'm a good liar~
at least saying like that, means some kind of self-protection
right?
even though telling the truth might make things go better, but also worst off.
i cant that the risk

(p/s: i actually hopes someone takes hint from this)

i mean, if it is meant to be, it will eventually go to the right place, right?
even i said it, it doesnt mean it will not happen forever
just that sometimes it gets so insecure, i dont know what answer will i get if i confess


by the way, i slipped and bumped my leg on the toilet's door yesterday
yeah.. my leg now swollen and got a big bruise~ i like it.. woohooo~
muahaha^^

result

result is going to release on 18th of May 2009
argh... can't it delay a week later?
maybe 25 or 26?

or

why don't it just not release forever??

why have to ruin my day?
sigh sigh sigh~~~ sad case

aiya.. sick d la

I'm sick. It's been long time since i last sick like this. Normally it's just flu or coughing, which will gone after 1 or 2 days. It's longer and more serious this time..

but what can I say? There's no one to blame..

i shouldn't secretly eat 4 or 5 spoons of chocolate powder last two days
(chocolate powder as those my mum use to make chocolate drinks)
yes.. i know it's awkward, it's one of my bad habits.. hehe

i should have sleep earlier..
but it's exam period ma.. then after exam period, it's celebrating period ma.. i was forced to sleep late! hehe

Mum and sis are so bad
Sis ordered Pizza Hut's Variety Box to share with me the day i started feel sick
i ate pizza, pasta, crossed french fries (some thing like that la, i dunno what it calls), bread sticks
other than the chicken wing that i missed, cuz i really cannot tahan already

Mum brought a lot of ice-cream!! it's killing me~
everytime i beg her to buy she will only buy a cornetto.
last two days she so 'fut lou' bought 3 different kinds of ice-creams
i'm sick! How can i eat wor.. As i looked into the fridge, the angel and demon is fighting so hard in my heart >.<'''
well, as no other people is stopping me other than the poor little angel, LONG LIVE DEMON!!!! i ate the vanilla ice-cream, just very few only la~~
but if i'm getting better tomorrow.. hiek hiek hiek....

she samo lure me with 'mang zhang kuei' just now... sigh... she is so bad.. the 'mang zhang kuei' very nice 1 le.. can add stuffing that you like, ham, cheese, tuna...



now the lymph node near my throat are swollen like two bubbles. Argh.. it's irritating! it hurts everytime i talk or swallow anything, even water.. T-T ice-cream also the same la~~ kek sim..

i drank my mum special mix 'balsam pear + green apple + many other fruit that i dunno'
yerk.. pity sis that she was dragged to drink a glass of special mix as well.. paiseh paiseh..

headache is irritating as well..

and the last thing, i hate kuei tiao soup!!!! ish! mum went out to da bao dinner for me, but the hawker mistaken kuei tiao soup and bihun soup.. sigh.. no choice.. kuei tiao soup feels like specially designed for patients... -.-

get well soon!

bla bla bla

Not that i dont wish to say a thing, but i'm too timid to confess. Timid to confess to all the feelings i have and all the things that are going on. I started to become someone other than myself. It's not right. I feel guilty when i started to feel myself selfish, when my bad thoughts started to control me. I dont wish to think like every other, to make me feel better, cuz it doesn't seems right.

If things are meant to be, it will eventually come out in the way it should be, right?

Please do not misunderstanding me as i'm trying distance myself. I'm not trying to run away from anything or anyone; everything or everyone. I'm just standing. Trying to see as far as i can, where my fate and destiny going to lead me to. Trying to see if someone i waited will be at the ending point of my every fall, to catch me from high.






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i dont have the strength to deal with every single hard moment in my life, but those conflict situation keep comes to me. i'm so exhausted. Just tell me the answer, let me die away, or keep going, it's either way.

People says, why're you holding back?

I take a step back when i feel i'm extra, cuz i just dont want to hear people really say out loud that i'm not needed. I dont want to be in a place, where i feel myself a burden. Don't ask me to take a step, when i'm not knowing what will be replied; i dont wish to fool myself in front of every pair of eyes. If there's plenty of sign to tell me, you're in the wrong way, why should i keep myself walking in?

is there a map to guide us on where we should go? guide us to where we belong? i need it, cuz i keep walking into dead ends